Dust
by nothing-chan
Summary: "You're the caramel stuck in my teeth, Gale!" Her laughter set off again, a siren over the bobbing waters. "You never leave, you don't do much, but you're always there. That's nice, I think, to have someone who will always be there." I shifted my toes under the sand, a pebble wedged underneath my toenail. "At least, I hope you'll be there when I'm withered and gray."


_Dust - DIIV_

* * *

She and I were both 19 and had hair that would not sit flat. Molly was as unkempt as the sun's boiling surface, and she was never fully awake, dazed at the sight of dust specks in the air. I was bored, usually alone, usually cold beneath layers of blankets and robes.

A group of us sat on the road, cobblestone tattooing indents into our maturing skin, odd shapes and stars that captivated our sizzling minds. We felt on fire whenever we could, which we turned into always, slipping down a drain of viciously swirling liquid that choked us off from the aspirations of a normal life.

We all hated to be on our lonesome, even when we slept, so most nights we decided to forgo rest and find somewhere desolate and unpromising, somewhere we could make our own. Occasionally we were chased out by animals, or people, but a majority of the time the sun pressured us home, low and pink in the sky.

But now, the sun was not on our minds, the stars were, and sizzling collections of sugary, candied soda pop.

"Molly, Molly, good golly!" Luna shrieked, rolling on her angular bones, cackling as the other girl embraced her.

"Oh Luna, kiss me!" And so she did, placing her bubbling pink lips against the other's cheek, pushing them both into a rancorous laughter that bounced off the depleted buildings housing their devoid owners. We all stared.

Julius smiled under his syrupy breath, waving a chocolate in its creators pale face.

"These chocolates are superb, Chase." The chef wriggled his face into a smile, edges of his eyes crinkling downward.

"Thanks, I'll probably get fired for using the last of the cocoa powder. Like I fucking care."

"Chase No Job, Chase No Job!" Selena and ViVi began to howl, enticing Luke into a petulant fit of snorting.

Everything was as it should be.

I was not sure if I belonged with these people, in fact, I was certain I did not. They were all angst-filled and lost, as most humans tend to be, but they had decided at some point to turn their unexplainable rage into erratic behavior that left them fickle minded and woozy. Perhaps they felt something that way, intoxication, a feeling of belonging, or maybe it was just a distraction from the lackadaisical wrinkling of their skin, the minute growing in responsibility they faced each day.

No matter what they felt, I knew the reason I stayed, and she turned to smile at me with whirlwind eyes.

"Gale, we should go swimming."

"She's right, summer is almost over! We won't be able to anymore, what a drag." Luke offered his insightful commentary without second thought, weighing the group into contemplative silence.

Luke was not intelligent, not by standards with which he was compared, but he was by no means stupid. He felt things too, usually in a higher caliber than others. Extraordinary highs, irrelevant lows, he skated between the plane of hyperactivity and childlike insanity. He was something I had never really come to understand, so simple it puzzled the mind.

Luke's clarity reached the depths of the others, and they began to spasm in anticipation, jumping up and twirling and interlocking fingers at the idea of the water lapping their feet.

"We'll have to skinny dip, how scandalous!" Selena chortled, grasping Molly's hand as if it were her only lifeline, body draped in velvet night. Everyone swung higher in anticipation, beach a roaring beacon for them to collapse in on.

I dawdled at the edge of the new formation, a lolling line that left Chase's rough palm open to me. His fingers were wedged and pock marked from knives embedding themselves into his flesh constantly, vegetables sliding out of his grip and leaving his own raw meat exposed to the serrated edge. I took a hold of it impersonally, felt him ignore me, strained my ears to catch wind of Molly's alto laugh erupt from the middle of the group.

It was yawning, a lullaby that shoved a flower down your throat and left you to cough up petals until you bled. A double edged sword, my hand began to sweat as I involuntarily gripped harder onto Chase.

He raised his eyebrows in mock surprise, a snide remark at my action.

"Hey, would you look at that, Gale finally looks excited for something."

I do not think I felt angry at his words, more a deep seated numbness that barely stirred when Molly just so happened to imbed her fingers deep within it. That was all.

The ocean breeze set off a time bomb of grumbling stomachs, and Luna lamented how the soda must have made her stomach look larger. Molly bent down to kiss the small ridge of fat packed on her thin body, receiving a rough pet from the girl.

Women confused me, more so Molly than any others. She was capable of intense affection, though if a man were to approach her in such a way, she would be rendered speechless. Perhaps only on our outings did she feel so unrestrained, so open toward her flower shrouded friends and their scented, frilled underwear.

Or maybe, she did not have interest in men at all. I supposed I could become a girl for Molly, if that was what she wished. I had no belongings, no sense of self to keep hold of, I tailed behind her endlessly.

I devoted myself to her so violently, yet I had not spoken one word to her this whole night.

Clothes were shed hastily, body hair and newly exposed limbs gawking out in the open. All sense of pride lost, all privacy erased, we sprinted into the waves, obscured by a blanket made entirely of sea-salt.

Despite our insatiable closeness, we had all never been naked in front of each other, and it was a new kind of euphoria. One of embarrassment and degradation, if someone were to brush past you, your innocence would be lost.

It filled you with a fear and a vibrating excitement, ViVi lifted her hands to the moon and howled in elation, breasts buoyant above the waves.

It took some time to adjust to the coldness and the pressure of water against your skin, but soon everyone had sunk low into the water and slithered under the sheet of dark green water. Luna mounted herself atop Luke's shoulders, and he launched her into the air, frail body screaming past the stars and slapping the water with an inhuman thud. Julius roamed on his back, occasionally tossing and emerging himself underwater, frozen for minutes at a time, then would appear again panting and grinning bestially.

A shorter frame snuck to my side, chest barely visible above the oscillating water.

"Did you not want to go swimming?" Molly's concern went unanswered for some time, but she was used to this, patient at my guilelessly plain response.

"No… I'm fine."

"It's just," She tilted her head, hand penchant on her chin, slightly unshaven armpits prickled with hair, "You don't seem to be enjoying yourself; you haven't even talked to me."

When did I talk? Molly expected a great deal from me, something no matter how much I abandoned, I could not change.

"That's how you are though, and that's okay," Her social façade leaked through, peaches and cream and perfectly folded into a crepe of pleasantries. She must have enjoyed complimenting others, making them feel okay, she did it often and vehemently, to whomever she encountered.

"You're the caramel stuck in my teeth, Gale!" Her laughter set off again, a siren over the bobbing waters. "You never leave, you don't do much, but you're always there. That's nice, I think, to have someone who will always be there."

I shifted my toes under the sand, a pebble wedged underneath my toenail.

"At least, I hope you'll be there when I'm withered and gray."

Was this a marriage proposal? A promise of love? A date? No spell, no recipe, had ever prepared me for the wrenching that spewed out from inside me. It was not in my heart, more in the deepest core of my body, one no human being could ever see. If I could see my soul, it would be shivering, soul-teeth chattering, soul-bones clinking. I had never felt so much, even from her words, I felt nothing but the sadistic pain inside of me.

Was love meant to be so painful? Was it not meant to be enjoyable? I searched for answers, and instead I found her hand, close to her thigh and suspended enough that it was not suggestive.

Molly smiled softly, compressed under the dangerously dangling moon, wrapping her strong arms around my waist. The round roll of her body folded around me, head glued to my chest, forever.

"I'm tired of working; I'm tired of getting old…" Selena screeched from far away, tide carrying her out and out and out, lifted high above Chase's head in a dangerous stunt. I felt more warmth, more pain, I was on fire.

"You… don't have to do anything you don't want to do… Molly…"

My words enlightened her, grip loosening, a more ebbing embrace, "I guess you're right."

We stayed in the swells of the sea until the sun rose.

* * *

_Hello._

_I wanted to write something about hipster weirdos having fun but I sort of went for a darker route and chose MESSED up hipster weirdos._

_Not really sure if this is AU or whaT? But I like Gale and ViVi's names so much I HAVE to use them._

_Anyway good band good song good night._

_Please review and have a nice day!_


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